before i came to spain lydia asked me to tape my self answering some questions.  one was´¨do you have any fears about the camino?¨  here is what i said:
1.  i am very modest, and i heard that there is not alot of privacy, that often people change clothes right at the bunks, and that all bathrooms are shared, including the showers (in other words, no women´s showers and men´s showers, for instance).
2. i really don´t want to get sick on the camino, because when i get sick i turn into a big baby and i want either my husband or my mom to take care of me, and both of them are staying home!
so here´s how things are going:   because i stayed in st. jean pied de port 2 nights, and orisson the next, my first night in a big huge shared room was the next night.  that morning i woke up and wanted to change from my pajamas to my hiking shirt.  the bathroom was downstairs, and it only took the blink of an eye for me to just whip off my pj top and change into my shirt.  i didn´t even blink, actually!  it just happened, and i now routinely shower in co-ed rooms and don´t think twice about it.  also, i have seen more men in their underwear than in the rest of my life up until now, and remember, i have 4 brothers!

yesterday, after walking 30 km the day before and doing great with taking breaks and eating snacks i just forgot one thing-meals. i didn´t eat lunch, and when i finally sat down in los arcos, i didn´t want to move.  i had gotten a half carafe of wine to share with genevieve and was just carrying it over when shirley (with the film crew--editor) came in and said, ¨we´re going to need more wine¨so i got another carafe.  well, genevieve took her one glass and went upstairs and shirley and i just stayed parked there for the rest of the evening.  we had some bread and tuna, but not a proper meal.   we kept saying how good the wine was, how it wasn´t strong, but it was grown in the region, and was ´from the earth´.  so the next morning i wasn´t feeling so good.  i couldn´t believe i had gotten drunk on my spiritual pilgrimage!  what?  i just felt so ashamed.  i drank some water, and ate an apple and shoved off early, feeling like my tail was between my legs and i just wanted to get as far away from there as possible.  within about a half an hour i was feeling queezy.  could this really be happening, i thought.  am i really going to be sick right here on the camino?  the next town was about 4 km away.  could i make it there?  plus, there were a lot of people around, because i had gotten an early start for once.  it got worse and worse and then there was no doubt.  yup, i was going to toss my cookies right nere on teh camino.  i stumbled to the edge of the road (we were on a road at that moment), with one hand on my stomach and one hand over my mouth in the international language of í´m gonna be sick here´and a very nice french lady asked if i was okay.  then, in a cruel linguistic error i told her i wanted her to watch me.  i was trying to say to NOT watch me (ne...pas) but i said i wanted only her to watch me (ne...que).  i knew i had made the mistake, but i couldn´t correct it, just waved her on, which she was happy to do.  imagine if you see someone who is about to throw up and they tell you they want you to watch them vomit?  how gross is that?!!!  anyway, i did what i had to do, then kept walking.  and walking.  and walking.  at the next town there was an albuerge and i rang their bell, hoping they would let me lie down, even though they don´t usually open til the afternoon.  they didn´t answer the door, so i was left with just lying on their bench outside with my pack as a pillow and my sarong over my eyes to keep the sunlight out.  it was 9 am or so and i was sleeping on a bench.  i was so embarrassed, and, as i said, ashamed.  i had to sing tim macafee lewis´s song over and over (i forgive me).  and later when i saw shirley she said she had passed me sleeping on the bench.  she looked at me and said ´so much for it being from the earth, huh?´ glen asked me later, ´was that you i saw sleeping on a bench today, annie¨ and i just had to say, yep, that was me!  when i told me wonderful husband about it, and how i ashamed i was, he asked me if i really thougth that pilgrims in the old days never drank too much wine?  that made me feel better, but i know that that is one thing that won´t happen again on my camino.  but it did get me over my fear of being sick.  it was no big deal, and , as usual, everyone was ready to help.  i am writing this so you know my experience here, but it is not my shining moment- i hope it doesn´t take away from the awesome nature of this journey.  i recognize that it is all part of it, even though i´m not as proud of this as of helping someone with their feet or something.

so i have gotten over 2 fears.  it is so surprising to me how easily i got over them, and how when actually confronted with them they just were nbd - no dig deal.


i love you all - thank you sooooo much for all the wonderful comments.  i don´t have time to respond to all of them, but i take them with me in my heart every day.
peace and blessings-
a